A SecondHand Life
by MoonViperz
Summary: A group of mythical elves flee to Earth after their home planet is destroyed, and struggle to hide their identities while trying to survive highschool. Rated PG-13 for obsessive profanity (Selvester: DAMN RIGHT) and references.


It was a beautiful morning in the town of Azworth. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, a gentle wind swept between the buildings of the small town. It was a peaceful place, fun of loving, caring, and COMPLETELY normal human beings who were just beginning to awaken to the newest, wonderful day that they about to fa-

"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT WHAT IN THE BLOODY TAURIAN HELLS IS THIS?!" Selvester swore, smashing his fist through his computer monitor. "I FUCKING HATE EVERYONE. BLASTED, DUMBASS RACE." He smashed his head against the desk, repeatedly banging into it until the wood began to splinter and collapse in. "WHY? WHY? WHY DOES EVERYTHING WANT TO HURT ME?!" He sat there a few seconds, wallowing in self-pity and complete unbelief. No way. No fucking way had they dared take down his favorite fanfiction of all time. It was one of the only things he'd found comfort in on this blasted planet full of filthy, smelly humans and some asshat had decided to take it from him. It was like someone had sacrificed his first born son. "That is," The black haired blood elf thought bitterly. "..if I actually wanted a firstborn. But I can't STAND children. Worthless pieces of shit." Pushing the rolling chair away from the smoking wreckage of his pc, Selvester forced himself to stand and drag over to the dresser. Yanking some clothes out of the top drawer, he grumbled to himself so unintelligibly, not even I, as the narrator and stalker of the story, could interpret it enough to write it down, but we'll assume it was insanely profane, because you just don't take down someone's favorite fan fiction. Nuh uh, gurl, dat's just wrooong.

Anyways, having pulled on whatever he'd managed to grab out of the drawer, Selevester examined himself in the mirror. Pointy ears mostly hidden behind a mop of coal black hair poked out, the tips parting the already untidy mess on his face. Messing with his hair just enough to hide the pale appendages, he flexed his completely and totally nonexistent muscles. Bright green eyes peered back at him, and he grinned. "Sexy, but then that's to be expected. " Exiting his room, the boy proceeded into the kitchen, where he proceeded to grab a carton of orange juice out of the fridge and down the whole thing, tossing the empty canister in a corner when he finished with the other how many hundreds else, swearing to 'clean them up tomorrow'. Like that would ever happen. So there they'd sit, perhaps until he made a new record for "The Most Trash Collected In One Corner" or some shit like that. " I might actually be on time today." He shot the clock a look, blinking a few times waiting for his eyes to adjust. "Ah god damn it. I'll never get used to this blasted earthling schedule. " Snatching up his backpack, the elf ran for the door, throwing it open. "Bye Mom! Bye Dad!" He paused, grinning. "Oh wait, that's right. I don't have any."

*A few minutes later*

"Alrighty then, class, let's flip open our books to page 532 if you may…" A young lady, about in her twenties began, turning to face her class. A collective groan filled the room, along with the sound of shuffling paper. Frowning slightly, she looked down at her clipboard. "Does anyone know where Selvester or Preston are?" Everyone looked around a moment, shrugged, and went back to their work. Shaking her head, she drew little x's next to the two boys names, and sighed. "Well, as sorry as you all seem to be, we'll have to continue class without them. Now, can someone please tell me…." She was interrupted by a loud creak and a blonde haired boy in hipster shades cruised in on a skateboard. Skating up to the front of the room, he stopped a few feet from her, tightening his blue and white plaid jacket over his white tank top. "Wassup teacher lady?" He smirked, shoving his thumbs in his pockets. "Sorry I'm late." Fist bumping one of his buddies on the first row, the hipster boy immediately began to discuss the latest issue of the porn magazine "Girls And Corpses" , speaking just loudly enough for the rest of the class to hear. A group of guys broke out laughing, and a few girls, including the teacher herself, turned bright red at the boy's explicit description of what he'd like to do to some of the girls in the pictures. "And then I'd shove my…" he snickered, before a loud clearing of the throat from the teacher cut him off. "Excuse me, Mr. Davidson, but if you could refrain from discussing such, ahem, 'extracurricular' activities in my class, I'd appreciate it. Now, go, take your seat." Preston just rolled his eyes and began to make his way over to his desk near the back corner of the room, winking at a few girls on the way back, who swooned on the spot. Meanwhile, turning back to the board, the brunette began writing questions on the board. "And the name's not 'teacher lady'. It's Mrs. Davis. Now, if we could continue you with our lesson without any other interruptions?" She looked over her shoulder at the class, who'd fallen back into the position of mindless blobs of flesh. "Good. So, as I was saying…"

Again, she was interrupted by the door opening, though this time it was a bit louder than the other time, as this time the hand crashed into the wall, leaving a large hole in it. Selvester rushed over to his seat, which was doubtlessly located away from the others in the class. Letting his book bag fall to the ground with a loud thump, he began to dig through the mess cluttering it. "And why, may I ask, are you late?" Mrs. Davis sighed, leaning her forehead against the wall. "Or do I even want to know?" The elf looked up. "I woke up late today…." "As always. I should have guessed." "What the fuck did you want me to say? I was late because I was busy fighting of orcs and saving princesses or some fairy tale bullshit like that?" "no, that's not at all what I meant Selvester, and you know it." "Then don't talk smack about my reply. " A long silence overcame the room, broken only by the one, loud bang of the elf's textbook hitting the desk when he finally found it buried somewhere in the bowels of his pack, or, as his friends liked to call it, his portable black hole. Mrs. Davis just shook her head, adjusted her skirt, and sat at her desk. "If everyone could PLEASE attempt the context questions I've put up on the board, that would be appreciated." She groaned. "They will be collected at the end of class." She looked over at a small picture frame that contained a photo of her and her boyfriend. "Oh, where are you when I need you Jacob?"

The bell rang, announcing the beginning of the lunch hour. High-schoolers piled into the hallways, everybody struggling to find their friends or to get to the bathroom, or sneak off to go make out with their girlfriend in the grassy area behind the trailers. And, if it hadn't been for this being the only real time Selvester had with his friends all day, then he might have actually made this his least favorite part of the day, due to the pushing, shoving, and yelling going on. Elvish ears were extremely sensitive, and the amount of torturous screaming in these blasted hallways made the boy surprised he hadn't gone completely deaf yet, or at least insane. That is, if he wasn't already. And only the heavens knew what he'd give to get out of this blasted place. But, as Sylvia liked to say, beggars can't be choosers. After their home planet had been destroyed by an alien race known as the Manticores, a species only known as a mythological being on Earth, the lone survivors of the planet had been forced to flee from their home, and to leave everything and everyone they loved behind. And, having been able to only find one suitable planet within their quadrant of the galaxy, the group had forced to live on this stupid piece of garbage called Earth. Not only would they have to stay here, but they couldn't even reveal who they were to those who already lived here, as the group had soon discoved, because it lead to major freak outs and wild chases that, if caught, could only lead to imprisonment and possible dissection. Not a popular idea within their group. And every day he woke up, Selvester got to remember just how much his knew life really sucked. "I fucking hate my fucking life…." He said to himself bitterly, shoving some midget human boy out of his way. "You just saw your friend yesterday. No one gives a shit that you two are in love. Must you scream like a fucking dying pixy, holy shit." Most people thought of elves as loving, kind, compassionate creatures of nature, and maybe the typically one was, but if elves were all as nice as the ones in children's books made them out to be, he'd might have asked if he was adopted, because if there was one thing he was sure about these days, it was he was DEFINITELY not a heart-warming person.

After wasting ten minutes of his life waiting in line to receive a tray full of the 'food' that the cafeteria ladies had come up with to provide the poor souls who had to eat here to make sure they didn't get sued by the federal government, the abnormally grouchy elf made his way over to a table near the windows on the right side of the room and sat down next to a girl who was almost as pale as he was with long, green streaked haired, a short boy with matching brown hair and eyes with glasses, a guy about the size of an elvish skyscraper, and his little sister. By far the most outstanding, outcast crowd in the room, it was almost a wonder that someone hadn't figured the out. But, then again, humans weren't exactly bright, and those who suspected were usually afraid of being ridiculed. Who would think a group of elves would attend a regular high school in nowhere town? The very idea was almost laughable even to them, and, if they had been told where they'd end up today a few years ago, they all would have just laughed. Elves, living amongst humans? That just didn't happen.

"Can you ever arrive on time to class Selv?" The girl with highlights looked up at him, scoffing as he sat down. "The Earthen timing is not that far off from our own. Just a few hours, considering their days are shorter than ours." "I didn't ask you for your opinion on how I'm living my life Cyrstina." He grumbled, jabbing his fork at the weird mess on his plate. "Now, can someone PLEASE explain to me what this is supposed to be?" "Well, the menu said it was meatloaf today." Carcord replied, adjusting his glasses, which kept slipping down his face. "However, on my research of human delicacies, I'm almost positive it's not supposed to be in a liquid state." The taller elf cringed. "It looks like it's about to get up and walk off the plate." "I'd like to second my clostriduim's (my sibling's) statement." The little girl spoke gently, huddling close to Skerman. "I don't like it here Sker. I want to go home." "We all do….." The group sat, staring at their inedible lunches.

"Hey, street rats, why so glum looking? That food remind you of where you live?" A group of boys, all dressed like their leader, started laughing, and everyone around the small group turned to stare. Selvester clenched his fists, shutting his eyes tight as Skerman placed a hand on the vicious elf's shoulder as if to remind him not to make a commotion. "Just concentrate on your food Selvester….just on your food…." He repeated over and over again in his head, taking a small bite of the weird congregation of sewer waste on his plate, that he immediately proceeded to spit out. God, that was some fucking terrible shit. "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" Preston leaned over Cyrstina's shoulder, breathing on her neck lightly. The warm air and closeness of the perverted hipster caused her to shudder, but she kept ignoring him never the less. Such a prick shouldn't be worth her time; she was better than he was. "Hmmph. What about you, hot head? You gonna say anything, or are you just going to take it like the bitch you are?" He ruffled his Selvester's hair, leaning down so he could look him straight in the eyes. Man, did he want to rip that smirk right off of the human boy's face, and throw it in with the rest of the shit they used to cook with. Maybe even along with some of the teachers who were literally just standing to the side, watching it all happen, and the cronies, who were laughing at their torment, or the girls who, despite the obvious fact that this boy was bullying others, were still head over heels, fangirling over him even now, at this moment. But, for the sake of the others, he restrained himself, and growled softly at his food without saying a word until the blonde gave up and moved on. "And how about you big guy? You going to just stand here too?" Silence. "Damn, y'all are a bunch of losers, you know that?" More silence. The whole lunchroom was holding their breath. Preston was beginning to look like a fool, basically talking to himself, and he knew it. His face was turning a bright pink as his rage stormed up inside him. No one, and I mean no one, made Preston look stupid. Cool ran in his genes, his family, and was his life. And here he was, being mocked in silent words by these…these…nobodies! These good for nothing, strange, annoying, newbie nobodies! They dare to insult him with this useless ploy of uncaring quietness? "You all think you're so cool, don't you? You think ignoring me is some kind of joke?! I am the DEFINITION of cool. My family INVENTED cool. I run this school, not some secondhand kids, and no one, and I repeat NO ONE, ignores ME!" Reaching past Skerman, the blonde yanked the young girl away from the group, and threw her to the ground, kicking her. "We'll see how funny it is when your little girl ends up permanently mute because of you!"

Selvester felt the blood rush to his ears. His vision was going red, rage shaking his body as it washed over him wave after thunderous wave. This human was beating up a little girl. For something she didn't do. He was going to beat her senseless, and that was NOT something he was about to stand for. "YOU LOUSY SON OF A BITCH!" Selvester flew out of his seat at the blonde boy, tackling him to the ground. "I WILL FUCKING TEAR YOU APART IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO WITH THE LAST BREATHE IN MY BODY. YOU HEAR ME?!" The two boys rolled on the floor, each fighting to pin the other. Grunting and cursing filled the room as the scuffle continued, each delivering some well-placed punches to the gut, face, and groin of the other, snarling viscously before Selvester managed to pin the hipster to the floor. Sitting on top of the blonde and curling his fingers into a fist, the black haired boy drew his arm back. "Any last words, dumbass?" Selvester grinned. He was self-assuredly about to beat the punk out of this human asstard. Maybe with a less beautiful face, the boy wouldn't be such a douche to everyone. But then, the blonde did the exact thing he expected him to do:

The blonde started laughing. A large grin lit up the popular boy's face. "Oh, rest assured, I do. They just happen to be a doozy too. " The blonde leered in the elf face and leaned up to whisper in the black hair's ear, as Selvester's eyes widened. He couldn't know….he was bluffing. He can't….

"I know what you are, Space Boy."

*_And that's all for Chapter One! I hope you enjoyed it, and can't wait to update soon! Fan art, sharing, feedback, etc. Are all extremely welcome! See you next time!*_


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